AfricanGolfTours

Golf course or paddy field

Beira golf course in Mozambique is a chapter in itself. While there were previously 18 holes to play with, now there are only nine. One half of the area has been so swamped that it has been given up as a golf course and changed into a paddy field. This very day only two or three of the remaining nine holes are accessible. Tuesday's downpour has turned the golf course into a reserve for swimming and wading birds. Right now a Grey Heron and a Sacred Ibis are both trying to nest in hole number four!

Since 1988, the Swede Stig Larsen has trained with the available holes at Beira's golf club. ”I don't know if it has anything to do with climate change, but it is difficult to get water to drain away from the golf course” he says, and states in one sentence an explanation of the golf club's problems. ”When the saltwater breaks in, the grass that cannot tolerate salt dies. And when freshwater floods the golf course, the grass that has adapted to saltwater dies.”

Maybe it is this true story about the golf course that became a paddy field that has given rise to the rumour that Beira is sinking. But Beira is not. The town is simply in the wrong place.

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Golfing Jokes etc....

Wife & Mistress

I'll go and ask if we can go through," said Max to Jerry. The two golfers had been concerned for some time at the snail-like progress of two women, originally some holes ahead and now just in front of them on the ninth fairway. Max returned after only a few paces towards the ladies.

"Jerry, this is very embarrassing, but would you mind going. That's my wife up ahead and she's playing with my mistress."

Jerry returned having got no further forward than Max. "I say," he said, "what a coincidence."

The beginner

A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game.

The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said, "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green."

The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole.

"Now what ?" the fellow asked the speechless pro.

"Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup." the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again.

"Oh great ! so NOW you tell me." said the beginner in a disgusted tone.

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